A VIEW FROM THE ZOO
When reading the box score after the game, only pertinent information is posted. First downs, yards (total, and both passing and rushing), turnovers, time of possesion, offensive and defensive leaders, and the score breakdown.
After Saturday's win over rival Arizona State, I would like to petition to add "push ups" to the mix, and with good reason.
It was agreed upon prior to game time by a group of friends sitting with me in the Zona Zoo that when the Wildcats scored, I would be tossed into the air to preform push ups, one for every point on the board.
Digging into the back of my mind and rustling up some useless stats that have been floating around in my head for years now (the part of my brain that should hold the vital information learned in my three years of college), I decided that there was no way I'd be going up for many push ups. After all, looking at the stats, the line in Vegas would have been going my way.
1. Arizona has struggled at big games over the years.
When it comes down to the nitty gritty, Arizona just cant seem to catch a break. With bowl implications on the line the past two seasons, the Devils got the best of Arizona when they needed to win the most.
2. The Wildcats had lost the last two games.
17 points against the Ducks in the first half, 17 points scored against Oregon State in the next game.
3. The Devils were riding a three game win streak. The defense for ASU looked unstoppable against the Bruins the week before, and had trounced the other two opponents even before playing UCLA.
4. Sonny Dykes was playcalling.
Our "Air Zona" offense had gone quiet of late thanks in part to conservative offensive calls that were, well, offensive.
5. Ten years of waiting.
Dick Tomey placed a ten year curse on the Wildcats when he left. Eleven would be like nothing (and please don't tell me that the Hawaii bowl would have been a great consolation prize given to Arizona if they lost. Might as well have been the Clorox Toilet Bowl).
So you can see with the logical reasoning that, at the most, Arizona would struggle to get past 17. And even with 17, these football minded buddies of mine would be in no mood to throw me up into the air if ASU was winning.
So, what the hell, right?
And, to my credit, had the game ended after half time, due to the same four boring plays run by Arizona(up the middle, quick out to Thomas, slant pass, punt), State would have won 10-7, and I would never have been in position to lose my lunch.
Being tossed seven times was bad enough, but the way it was looking, there wasn't much of a shot for the Wildcats.
But like most of my Vegas-type predictions, everything blew up in my face just like I knew they would.
But lets put it this way- I'd rather be lying in a pool of blood because I got dropped by a bunch of ridiculously tall guys in all their excitement and see Arizona beat the living hell out of Tempe, than seeing the Devils go to a bowl game.
So let me just reiterate my point here- Every time Arizona scored, I was thrown into the air for as many points were listed on the scorboard.
So after an early seven points, the Wildcats put up 24 points in the second half, 21 coming in the third quater.
Now, I'm no math major, but here's the numbers for the push ups: If I was an Arizona State fan(God forbid me from ever becoming part of the maroon and gold), I would have been lifted a total of 13 times. A field goal to start, and a giveaway touchdown thanks to a bad snap on Arizona's end (3+10=13).
But due to the graces of a higher power, I did not attened that loathsome school up north. Instead, I was vaulted (much like the Wildcats), into another stratosphere 101times on the night (7+14+21+28+31= 101).
So if football was a game of push ups, Arizona blew past it's instate rivals on their way to Sin City, 101-13.
If you are a Sun Devil fan, be grateful that push ups haven't been added to the box score yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment